For the love of dolphins – literally

I’m not one to brag about my sexual prowess. I mean, why? It’s sort of legendary… right? RIGHT?
*crickets chirping*

Okay, the truth is, I’d be the first to admit I don’t have a “technique” or any secret moves. As a lover, I suppose the way I describe myself most often is surprised gratefulness.

I mean, really. A woman has been willing to share some time with me… naked. Sort of incredible if you ask me. Given the amount of time I imagined such moments, as far back as elementary school really, I don’t take this for granted… EVER!! It’s like winning the lottery, every single time!

To my credit, I will offer that I am energetic and engaged. I try to pay attention. That’s it! It’s as good as it gets.

But… there are times that a moment of intimacy crosses boundaries that are overwhelming. Outside of the realm of what could be imagined. This is about one of those times.

This is a true story

Back in the early days of my wife, Laura, and I dating, we would make a few trips to Marineland of the Pacific. Marineland was an aquatic wildlife park of the Seaworld vein. It was on the Palos Verdes Peninsula and had the requisite shows with Orca, Dolphins, Sea Lions, and the like.

This was prior to concerns about human or wildlife safety. I’m not weighing in on the controversy surrounding the treatment of ocean mammal; maybe another time. This is a reflection, not a position.

There was a rather cavalier approach to how us humans and the animals interacted. This was particularly true in the dolphin tank found towards the back of the park. And it is here where we spent considerable time.

The dolphin tank was a simple large circular aquarium. The side was a wall about four and half feet tall. People would line the tank and splash their hands in the water for a chance to get a fleeting touch of a dolphin as it swam by.

Laura and I quickly learned a secret. If you went to the dolphin tank as the park was closing, there were far fewer people and the dolphins we far more engaged. So that was what we would do, end the day at the dolphin tank. Occasionally, a trainer would show up and throw a rubber ball or two into the tank and the dolphins would knock it around and back to the remaining human visitors who would toss the balls back into the tank.

Pretty cool really.

And if that was where the interaction ended, it would still have been wonderful to have taken part in those moments. But, Dear Reader, it gets much more interesting. Keep reading but withhold judgment… or don’t, I really don’t care.

Extreme Dolphin Interaction

On this particular day we got to the tank as the park was closing. There were perhaps 6 or 8 other people there and a trainer.

I’m not sure if it is because we had been there a couple times before but almost immediately, when I slapped my hand on the inner wall, a dolphin came up to see me. We’ll call her Zippy. Mostly because all the dolphins in Marineland were named Zippy for the shows.

I reached out and was able to run my hand over her head. She hardly moved away, then took a small lap, and returned to me. This time, much closer.

I again rubbed my hands over her head and was able to scratch her side with both hands. After another small lap, she came up again, right against the side of the aquarium.

I began scratching her head and sides, the same way you might pet a dog. She seemed to be enjoying it… a lot!

I had one hand behind her and was rubbing her belly. She reclined onto my right hand and I continued to give her a belly rub. It was amazing! Sort of immersive. I know that the other visitors were watching and were similarly mesmerized.

She had laid back fully and I was getting soaked because I had to lean over the aquarium to keep my one arm somewhat beneath her.

Suddenly, she expelled a warm fluid from her pelvis – onto my arm – and then frantically and spasmodically darted away and around the aquarium. She performing two or three laps. I was shocked!

I had an inkling as to what had just happened. The laughter from the trainer confirmed my suspicion. I turned to her and imagine I must have had a confused look on my face.

“That was a sexual response,” the trainer said, and then continued laughing.

My wife was laughing too, as were most of the other visitors by now. Yes, I had, unwittingly (I promise), had a sexual encounter with a dolphin. In public, no less! (get a room you guys)

Laura never expressed jealousy over this cross-species (don’t say bestiality) tryst. Although, she may have found my sense of pride over the whole event a little strange.

And you may too – God knows I do. That’s your prerogative. But are you sure it isn’t just jealousy? Think about it.

And besides, I didn’t do it on porpoise.  Sorry.. I couldn’t help myself.


Marineland closed down soon after this. But, I never forgot Zippy, my special “friend.”

I was listening to a podcast a couple years ago. It was about a woman who lived with an adolescent male dolphin while trying to unlock language patterns. Part of the story is how she would masturbate the dolphin with her foot. Apparently, male adolescent dolphins struggle to pay attention until after they have had sexual release.

Hmm… same old same old it seems.

I’ve thought about tracking her down, the scientist, and comparing notes. We share a special bond.

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